I wanted to share a good read hopefully on what 50-year-olds know that 20-year-olds often don’t. Wile I am not yet 50 and I don’t mind be since I patiently make my way there, I collected some of the flaws I found thru my 20′ and 30’s. Hopefully you don’t mind I share them with you.
So here are some lessons you may learn during your other half of century on this planet, wile this is a sneak peak into my closing chapter in my new book.
1. Be kind. The benefits of being kind—or at the very least courteous—far outweigh the effort you put in. Do random acts of kindness. Compliment someone. If a retail or food-service worker makes a mistake, be understanding and patient. Kind people live longer than unkind people.
2. Know your self better than anyone else. Don’t let anyone else’s opinions control what you do or say, what you wear, or what you say. Other people’s opinions are suggestions—take them or leave them.
3.Everyone else is as worried and insecure as you are. Some people just hide it better. It doesn’t mean that they are any smarter or better than you.
4.Laugh it off. If you make a mistake, fall down, or do something dumb, just laugh it off. Other people (and you) will forget it a lot faster if you just let it roll off your back. EVERYONE makes dumb mistakes.
5. Everyone. You aren’t alone, and you aren’t the biggest idiot in the world. Give yourself a break.
6.Don’t stay in a bad relationship, even if it’s “for the kids.” Oftentimes, kids really thrive outside the bounds of a toxic relationship.
7.It’s just stuff. Sure, stuff gets broken—oftentimes accidentally by people you love—and that’s annoying. But your stuff can be replaced. You can never erase the hurtful words you say to the person you love, because they broke your stuff. Stuff is never, ever as important as those you love.
8.You’re probably a lot smarter than you give yourself credit for being.
9.Don’t judge. You don’t know all the facts. That lady speeding down the road with her toddler unbuckled in the back seat may be panicked, heading for the hospital for an emergency that you can’t see. That “big kid” having a “tantrum” in the store may be on the autism spectrum, and is having a melt down, which he/she hates as much as you do. The fat lady in the bikini may have lost 100 lbs so far, and she’s pretty darn proud of what she’s done. Don’t shame people for smoking, drinking, or being fat. We all have our faults and bad habits. As a pretty famous guy is alleged to have said, “let he who is without sin cast the first stone. I took that from Bible
10.Never lose your inner child. Dance. Sing. Skip. Tell poop jokes (not to strangers, though). Go down the slide. Bounce at the bouncy house, if the attendant says adults are welcome. This is an advantage to being older. When you’re 20, people often think you’re “too old” to do these things, but when a 50-something does them, it’s charming. And if people think it’s dumb, screw them or may I say “fuck them* (pardon my french).
11.Don’t make major life decisions to please other people. Maybe your parents expect you to go to college, but you just want to go to trade school and become an auto mechanic, because that’s where your heart is. Or maybe (as in my case) your parents don’t want you to go to your own choice college, but they really want me to be a lawyer. Fuck that. Live life for YOU. If the world needs good auto mechanics and good lawyers, It’ll all work out. It worked out well in the last 7 billion years on this planet and I am sure it will work out well plus more…with or without from above.
12.Don’t beat yourself up about stuff. Do what you can to fix your mistakes, then move on. Guilt is only good for pushing you toward making things right again. After that, it becomes shame, and shame is a toxic substance which will eat you up inside. Same for worry.
13.Enjoy life. Literally, stop to smell and admire the flowers. Wonder. Smile at strangers and see how many you can get to smile back. Have fun.
14.Life goes by really, really fast. Live each day so that, at the end, you’re revealing in how amazing your life was, not regretting all the things you did or didn’t do. And remember we all have a limited amount of time given in life. Yes, including you, the reader.
15.Life is better after 50. Make that as your statement.
P.S Just remember this, people are very forgiving of their own flaws, but highly critical of other people’s.
Next time somebody says something about you and they pick out a character flaw, ask them: “Hey, are you coming from a place where that’s a flaw you have?”
If you are lucky, life is divided into thirds: youth, middle age and *you look good*
The dawn of that third stage is glinting right at you. Wile this words are just wine upon your lips.
*A Good Life Manuscript. Somewhere at some point available online*.